Just another Monday ................

A sms came in on the way back from work which insists that I reply that very msg once I reach home to reassure him that I am back home safely .....

Upon reaching home after a long day at work, I found the lil kid looking all forlorn and teary in the eye. He has clearly been crying for the past few hours while waiting for his older sister to return home from work. I knew this day would come but didn't expect it to be this soon. The kid was clearly in pain and hurting inside from the realization and guilt that will probably haunt him for years to come. As painful as it may seem, this is only and best way to make him grow and mature.

Told me that he realised that Dad suffered a lot the past few years (to which I already knew) but just unsure of the extent. It was until he told the specifics that tears finally started falling. Both of us miss her really badly and cried in silence for a few minutes. Not the first time it happened but it's the strength we needed to regain which pulled us through the past 11 years.

And above all that, I needed to be the strong one. The determined and steady one who needs to stay focus and guide the kid along the way until he matures and ventures out into the world. Did a pretty decent job in the past but slowly beginning to fall apart from the weight of the world.

My long working hours and job is wearing me out. Not physically exhausted but mentally and emotionally. The little one needs someone at home to listen and guide him. The need to perform as expected at work (it came in a package with the WOW award I won at work). Plus, the need and longing desire for me to breakfree from all these and finally seek the things that I want to achieve in life.

Colleague was clearly worried by now that I've not replied his msg. Told him I have some issues to settle and I am back home safely. He replied: "I think I know what its about. Just take care."
To which I replied:"So sorry I can't tell u much!"
And to which he replied:"No worries. Just telling you that I'm here if u need me :)"

And to this very day, these are the people that make my life all that worthwhile and colourful. No matter how dull one side may be, I always have them to add some colours to it.

The friends also made me realise things or details that I may have overlooked more often that not. Knocked some sense into my head on Sunday night that I should stop hoping for miracles and instead make them happen. Uncertainty clearly exist right before my eyes but yet I was blinded by hope and a wish that maybe and just MAYBE a miracle will happen. It was already a race against time and opportunities do not wait for people. That was when I made up my mind that I am gonna leave....