Feeling slightly better after talking to my dad about it... Even though his tone was solemn and sounded serious but it was the voice that I needed to hear.

For those who don't know, I was planning to quit my job today and I did eventually as my boss gave me some time to think about it. The combination of overworking and underpaying ends today. I will no longer be exploited.

Dad said to me when I told him :" Who gave u permission to work? Your exam is in November. Don't work. " and when I told him I was having a hard time at work, he said:" then why work? Nobody asked u to work. No point working if u're being exploited. "

and naturally after hearing those words, I cried. Both tears of sadness and happiness. The frustration and suffering I endured for the past few weeks finally comes to an end.

I really wanna go home ..... I am really really really tired probably from overworking and starving myself .....

A part of me wants to give up because it's hard and I honestly don't know how long I can hold myself together but yet another part of myself refuse to give up simply because it's challenging and I know I will learn something valuable from this.

It's not because of my working hours (maybe yes for this week) but more towards my duties in that short span of time. I am expected to complete a lot and by that I mean, seriously a lot of things in a short amount of time. And if I don't, I usually get scolding from my boss which is why I am really truly tired and exhausted. Tired of trying my best at work when it's never gonna be good enough until I actually cried in front of my boss on friday night which explains the puffiness of my eyes on Saturday morning. Next week is gonna be yet another long and probably a week loaded with stress and hopefully not tears.

ON TO SOMETHING MORE FUN


Yesterday was definitely one of those days I truly had fun with a group of new found friends of all ages... LOL. Yesterday was Miss Yilee's surprise b'day party at our new place which was carefully planned by me .... tehehehehehe. But unfortunately only 8 ppl could make it instead of the lets see... 16 ppl i invited? Still waiting on the pictures to be uploaded on Facebook by the camerawoman, Beatrice.

Roughly about 60 more days till I arrive in KL....

Finally I was pushed right over the edge and broke down in front of my lady boss...

Cried bucketful of tears at her place until I reach home .....

I swore never to show this side of myself to anyone but myself but I couldn't control myself at all when she asked: "how did u think u performed at work today?". Totally reminded me of someone who is always pushing me and I was really really tired both mentally and physically.

It has indeed been a while since I last cried this much BUT I refuse to talk about it anyhow so DO NOT bring up this issue....

Sometimes I just feel like crying right after a long and tiring day of work....

simply not because I am tired or exhausted but because of the amount of stress I have to endure at work especially these past few days where I've been working from morning until night which means 2 shifts - lunch and dinner.

I usually work from 11.15am through to 10pm. I do take a break but at max 30 minutes.

And to add on to that, I sustained multiple injuries at work ytd when I tripped and fell. Thus, bruising my right elbow, right and left knee. Plus, I can barely squat down without having to endure excruciating pain from my left knee. It's swollen and blue black in colour as we speak.

Is my boss a mind reader?

Who would have imagined that my boss would in fact be the one to see right through me right after just a brief 1 week training?

I'm dead serious....

and since then she's been pushing me harder than anyone else I know until I lost a shocking 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks.

BUT ....... I am not blaming her for doing so. She has her reasons which I am pretty clear about and I look up to her because of that. She told me specifically today the reason/ reasons :D

btw, bestie, don't freak out ok? I will elaborate further the next time I talk to u.

Right after someone made me upset, a sms came through all the way from Adelaide that reads

"Hello cousin! Haven't heard from you in a while. How have you been? Got any plans for the holidays? Hope you are doing fine :) "

and this sms made my day. I obviously called them back and we talked a good 15 minutes.

Say hello to my Cheesecake...

I wish ppl will understand why it's necessary for me to go through all this ........

I don't need reminders. What I need is support.

It's not just about the money, it's about growing up and accepting the responsibility given.

jealousy?

They are showered with branded goods, all I have is an old Prada wallet given to me by my mom, a Bvlgari perfume given to me by my aunt and a Christine Dior Travel pack.

Whatever I do is never a big a deal, whatever they do is always something to applaud.

They work hard to get the "best", I work even harder to get the "good" or if I'm lucky enough the "better" but never the "best".


Someone said this to me the other day "people like us(referring to both of us) have to work even harder to get what others can easily obtain" and after giving it some thought, it is indeed the horrible truth.

I work close to 20 hours a week doing things u wouldn't even imagine (miss Yilee knows what it's like) just to save enough money to ........? Feel free to cross out shopping, or just simply buying things as one of the option u might think of.

But life goes on right? Just thinking when will I ever be able to put myself first instead of others....? :D

Finally got the internet up and running after one week plus...

Official statement
I was never/is not hired to work at Freddo's.

hope that clears up everything....

on to a separate issue all together, I believe some things are better off unsaid. By that I don't mean lying.

Ah!!! u know what I mean la .....

The expressions, actions all the way to the lies told are just a way of covering up the untold side of the story.

*sigh....*

SO.... AM I OR AM I NOT HIRED?

Good question which I don't know the answer to ..... long story btw.

Just wondering how long is my training gonna drag on .... I hope she will come to a decision by the end of this week because it is seriously killing me slowly not knowing whether I am hired or not...

All I can say for now is 50 - 50 chance. 50 because me and foosu are probably the only few who did more than 3 hours of training. 50 because anything could've happened (she may have found a better candidate?)

Crossing my fingers for now... and if I don't get it ... well, then u'd probably see me in my emo state as usual :D

Some things are better left unsaid ... Despite having the urge to just let it all out...

有些是事情最好别说出口。。。。

不是每一个人都会体谅的。。。。

I think he noticed something amiss but has no idea what is going on.... But I refuse to say a word.

he probably won't understand even if I did tell him but it's necessary for me to do this.

It's for the best ....