trust

Sometimes it's the trust and faith that u have in someone that keeps them going....

If you're so against it, then say so directly. Stop questioning my actions or decisions because u're indirectly implying that I am incompetent and irresponsible.

U have no idea how much it hurts at times. I am already 21 years old daddy !

final semester of uni begins

And the last and final semester ever for me begins tmr....

Excited ?
Yes because I have a few classes with lye lye pau plus I am actually looking forward to some subjects this semester plus it also means my family will be coming over soon in just a matter of time :)

Happy?
Well.... not feeling too bad. At least I have things to occupy myself with from now on.

Stress?
Very much so at the moment but this is completely unrelated to studies. Will elaborate further once I am done and over with it. *sigh...*

Anyway, enough said... Latest batch of oven baked babies


The following ones are store bought desserts... will try to recreate the first one though... :)

Filial

I think I just had the most meaningful and much needed talk with a close friend while on the train back from Clayton

You know how at times your action or decision may seem all so irrational to some no matter how hard you try to convey the true meaning behind it?

Well then, let me gladly tell u now that I finally found someone I can relate to...

Some hints as to what kind of issues are of a concern to me and were discussed on the train but yet regarded as a joke to some:

• my decision to either return home or perhaps s'pore instead of the standard response u get nowadays "I plan to apply for PR and work here blah blah blah..."

• My dad - the sole breadwinner in my family

• How I despise assignment due dates not because of the stress I go through to try and complete it but more of the people I need to deal with in the process.

The first two are interrelated and I really hate this question:" So what do u plan to do after this? Work in Aus?"
Let me just say this once and for all - I am a filial child that will always put my family first in any given situation. I know better than anyone else how much my dad actually went through for the both of us to be so selfish and greedy.

Just because I have the opportunity to actually live a better life and earn more money, does that mean I have the right to leave my family in KL while I lead a better lifestyle here?

Why don't you tell me the answer to that?

5 months

5 more months .... time flies indeed eh? Pretty soon I'll be packing up my bags and bid Melbourne farewell as I return to a place I truly call HOME.
A place where those around me are a tad bit more sensitive and sincere in their gestures and actions. To put it in simpler terms, I feel like I am genuinely being cared for and loved.
No matter how independent and strong willed I may seem at times, there are days where I take a tumble; a hard and painful fall OR wrong route for that matter, and I would occasionally appreciate a lending hand. And there've been plenty of times here where the other party doesn't seem at all interested in the things I have to say.

Being overly sensitive towards what others' have to say about me/ feeling insecure/ left-out/ isolated from the rest are just some of my weaknesses. I do realize that I sometimes end up saying things I don't really mean or even sometimes things I shouldn't have said in the first place. This happens whenever i get overexcited or if not isolated. When I get really quiet, then that's when i am not feeling quite myself.

This also marks the end of the time spent home alone OR the emptiness and loneliness that I truly fear.

Pretty soon I'll be spending my dinner time telling my dad my problems or activities or even complain about the things that annoy me and seek comfort or advice if applicable. A total opposite as to how I spend my dinner time at home here in Melb.

I no longer have to keep my feelings or problems all welled up. Dad will always be there to listen or share his experience as to how certain things should be handled.

And whenever I miss her, I can always take a drive out to pay her a visit.

Holiday woes

Homesick yet again... Need I explain why? :(

Though I do enjoy having some time alone but eventually I'll gradually disappear into that little dark space due to overexposure.

I practically starved myself a few days back until I got so upset but it was unintentional. There wasn't any food in the kitchen that I could satisfy my hunger with and yet this stubborn kid here refuse to get out of the house to get some food.

At times I feel like a total outcast with the people I hang out with but yet there are times I feel all warm and fuzzy in the presence of close ones in Melbourne.

It'll be a while before I return to a place where I won't have to plaster a fake smile on my face even though I genuinely feel uncomfortable and make do with the awkward moments.

To be honest, I can't wait for uni to start (contrary to popular belief) because it means I am one step closer to my graduation and also the long awaited family getaway in Dec.

4 more months till my family set foot in the continent I spent my past 2 years in. Not much updates recently. I prefer to spend some quiet time alone before my next sem kickstarts next monday.

Anyway...

We celebrated Miss Audrey's 21st b'day on Mon night...

I made her cake btw...

And I made some portugese egg tart today

Winter break III

Sun(11/7): Brought May's roommate and yee Mun to st. Kilda beach. We left the city really late and both of us were starving so we had some of the following before having an awesome brunch at 2pm.

Brunch

Luna Park

beach

EPIC no??? LOL!



Dinner - Thai food


What we prepared for Mich's farewell...

Mon(12/7): Brunch followed by tea(fries, crepes...) and buffet ...

Brunch

Dinner - buffet

Grrr.... lye lye pau just had to do that...
I luveee this pic !!!! :)

Followed by supper - I basically just ordered a cup of chamomile tea. Did not touch the following.

Allow me to emo for the next few days while I show signs of deprivation of excessive hyperness and quirkiness from Mich and Yee Mun. Both of my closest friends left Melb this morning and I think a part of me left together with them.

We spent some precious good times together gossiping, chit chatting, laughing at each others' random nonsense and reminiscing the good ol' days (High school days).

I am gonna miss them dearly once the holidays are over. Three of them (May Jin, Mich and Yee Mun) spent the past 2 nights at my place and the fun continues on into the wee hours of the morning into the next day with mich acting as the human alarm clock at 9am >_<. All four of us managed to squeeze into my room to sleep and did all kinds of random fun stuff (ate "sang chow bao" while chit chatting, gossip, amuse/ tease each other then laugh our heads off and complain about individual problems while the rest brainstorm as to how we should tackle it).

I wish Yee Mun stayed longer in Melb while Michelle stayed for another semester.

*Roar* feeling uber upset at the moment.