2nd week

Activities in my second week of holiday :)
Stayed over at llp's place with susu on Saturday night after watching 2 movies and we had brekkie together the next morning.

Next thing I knew, I was so busy prepping for roomie's 20th birthday celebration. I am always up to something fishy XD

Firstly, the cupcakes for the bday girl as well as the guests .... What u see is only 1/4 of the total number of cupcakes I made....

nicely packed into cute little boxes for the guests ....
decorated one specially for lye lye since she had her Gmat exam the next day :)

Dinner at a Japanese restaurant...


and dessert afterwards...

Happy birthday girl! hahahaha!

Though I haven't exactly been enjoying my holiday to the fullest due to my commitments but I've been spending quite a fair bit of time with close friends this break doing what we do best - TALK and EAT!

Plus, I have plenty of upcoming events scheduled apart from the die-hard exam preparation. Bring on the stressful days and sleepless nights ! I am physically drained as it is right now.... :(
Why oh why do I always pick the most complicated and tiring way of doing things?

I need strength and NOT swollen and puffy eyes!

Wish I could run to a place where everyone is a stranger and that's where I'll start afresh....

It's like pressing the "reset" button .....

I wanna go on a long holiday which is also a much needed break

Can i?

Is it even fair for me to complain to my dad that I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained? Definitely not... I can't run from my responsibilities...

Sometimes I really hate myself for being less fortunate than the rest and it's the kind that are irreplaceable by definition.

let it flow freely like it's unlimited....

and dig a deeper hole to bury myself in...

The harder I try, the more I end up hurting myself and also the people who expect me to achieve great things in life....

The more I wanna stand out and prove myself worthy, the more I suffer in exchange and in the end, I get nothing out of it.
Do things I absolutely dislike just to please and live up to their expectations... When will this ever end?

Decmber 11 ♥

December 11, 2010 is roughly about 2 and a half months away...

But what's with this inexplicable emptiness ?

I think it's a combination of all my worst fears that brought about this ....
p/s i think it's best not to ask

I literally lost interest in everything and anything I do. Appetite dropped drastically, baking suddenly seem so tedious and boring, uninterested in gossips, anti-social ....

Above all that, I feel like calling home everyday, sleep like there's no tomorrow, cry like I have unlimited tears

Best solution so far? library or work by day and gym by night then home to bed...
I need some time alone to think and repent as well as redeem my self-esteem.

It's been far too long since I had a good talk with someone and that's probably the ultimate solution to my problems. Shall have to wait until Si bestie sampai UK and settle all her stuff .... I can't openly discuss this problem I have with anyone else but her... *waits patiently*

And whatever I've been exposed to for the past few days and coming weeks ain't helping one bit but aggravating it further. You know how excited u can get sometimes over something but upon checking out the details, U somehow realize "ok maybe I better not get involved because i'll be an outcast."

一直不停地提醒。。。不停地比较
难道对我一点信心都没有吗？　

没有一个人知道我毕竟牺牲了多少才能拥有我现在的一切。。。

但最后还是不够。。。　
必须比其它人努力两倍，　但也不确定会有相等的结果。。。

看到身边的人有多幸福和快乐有时是特别的难受。
最后，　我还是得勉强地露出笑容，　假装没事，偶尔会自己偷哭一场或睡个觉，希望明天会是更好的一天。　

希望这个世界会停止互相比较，　希望将来有好事期待着我。

Ball

I think I really adore simplicity ....

I love keeping things really simple without any aspect to it overly done...
especially my close friends in Melbourne and even back home...

Which probably explains why they are indeed my close friends in the first place. There are certain things we can safely agreed on and reach a consensus without much disagreement. Not sure who are they? (check the previous sushi post ) XD

We love having long girl talks over dessert or dinner; We don't over dress; We are dessert lovers; We are all single (LOL!); We love having quiet dinner together (plus dessert of course!) on a friday or saturday night; We have similar comfort zones ! :)

Next up are some pictures of my latest event.

And I just noticed that Monash m'sia had some ball event that same night.
*sigh* those were the days...

Lye pau! You know u owe me a partay at your house in M'sia! *winks*
Ok! That's it! I'll admit that I miss EVERYONE now! esp Michelle *sobs*
Gotta keep telling myself it'll be over SOON!
I wish I could just stop faking my emotions while I still have a few more months to go :(

Spring break 1

A quick recap of what I've been up to lately.... Went for sushi buffet with a bunch of girls just today (Thurs) and of course dessert after.
The food .....









More pics to come as my spring break officially begins...

I am just way too vulnerable ....

As much as I wish I'll eventually turn into a woman with an iron heart, I still can't help but feel a pang of jealousy each time someone I know openly expresses their fortune. The kind of things u long to have but never stood a chance....

Sometimes I wish she is still around so that I at least have someone to turn to for advice on these matters which I can't openly discuss with my peers....

Update 1: As if daddy read my mind last night and sent me an email this morning...