You know exam is just around the corner when:....

• The library is your new hangout place
• The seminar room in a college I always walk past after gym is forever pack with students
• I started consuming the tablets I bought back in Semester 1, 2010 (not good! I know...)
• Everyone is lugging a textbook around in Uni (including myself)
• There are strangely more ppl attending lectures and tutorials

But then again, I have no complaints this time around... :)
I miraculously found a love for my books. However, my only complain is
WHY LAH ONLY IN MY FINAL SEMESTER?

I also stopped working part-time to focus on my final exam and enjoy after before my place gets a little hectic and crowded(u know what I mean!). But it also means that I gotta really start losing weight (geez!). My weight refuse to budge despite hitting gym on a regular basis...

Btw, important announcement here ppl!
My grad ceremony will be on the 17th of Dec @ 6pm
so pls ... do come and take a picture with me okies? The more the merrier ..

Upon returning, I need to pay someone a visit to let her know that I've officially graduated and did her proud! :')

In exactly 2 months....

Pretty soon .... in exactly 2 months time ... on the 24th of December 2010.....
I will be leaving on the flight bound for KL ..... for good.....
Leaving 2 ladies to fend for themselves....








It's been a long journey together for the past 2-3 years but a great and unforgettable one indeed.

Pre-exam outing

btw, did I mention how much I miss the ones back home? :( It is however not just confined to family and relatives but also friends (e.g Michelle) hahaha!

Looks like more close ones in Melbourne are actually returning to KL after graduation. Yay to more hang out sessions in KL ! XD
I am one happy women !

There are certain things in life that are best avoided....

As much as he wanted me to pick that company as a prospective employer, I personally feel that I will never be able to enter that company without relating it to someone close to the heart....

Just when I thought I've gathered enough strength after so many years, this had to come along and immediately brought back the memories I so badly wanted to erase.

Each time someone goes "I am so sorry about that", a fake smile naturally follows suit, with me trying to reassure the other party that I am perfectly fine.

By January 2011, it'll be a perfect 10 years anniversary.

Your presence never left this world. No matter how badly I envy the rest for being so fortunate, I managed to live with no regrets even until today.
I swore that I'll take the responsibility as the eldest in the family with pride and do my very best in discharging that responsibility including caring for the young one & pleasing the older one even if sacrifices must be made.... I am trying my very best to fill up that empty space that u left in the young ones life....

We are more similar than I thought..... I just came to realize that today. What took me so long?

Always putting the ones we cherish before ourselves. Doing wtv it takes to make sure they get the best we can possibly achieve.

The interviewer today made me realize that I am stronger than I thought. Nothing stands in my way once I've set my sight on it.

OMG! I can't freaking wait for Christmas but that's about 2 months away ! >_< Although it's not the perfect time to crack my head as to what should be on the dessert menu but I am just overflowing with excitement to actually contain it any further.

Tiramisu for the adults ?
and

Perhaps cream puffs for the kids?


Feel free to provide some suggestions to this amateur dessert chef pls?
Note: I don't exactly have ample time to prepare for the dinner as me and the family will only be touching down in KL on the 24th of Dec at 5pm and the dinner is on the 25th Dec *screams* . I probably would have to hijack the car immediately upon reaching home and head to the nearest grocer to grab all my ingredients.
But then again, I think I have plenty of volunteers who are more than happy to be my assistant for the day.

On to a serious matter, I am having a major dilemma concerning my future career. I am not gonna elaborate further on this matter but for those who were informed, pls be more understanding considering the fact that I am in a silent battlefield and highly susceptible to emotional instability.

the uncertainty

Sometimes when things don't turn out to be the way u expected, u'll end up questioning yourself : Did things really change?

For the better or for the worst?

We won't know for sure...... but one thing is for sure: it's no longer the way it was before.

It lost its' energy, enthusiasm, familiarity and chemistry.

Should we blame it on the substitutes or ourselves?

Humans are naturally greedy, they rarely wait for something good when better options are made available.
A weak and distraught person wouldn't reject an immediate helping hand just to wait for a much later but familiar helping hand.

We probably did the best we possibly could but the distance grew with time.
Can we fix it ?
Probably OR maybe not....
It seems pretty uncertain at the moment.

If only.....

If only I : .....

• am tad bit smarter
• am able to buy and spend on wtv I want
• don't have the weight of the world on my shoulder
• a bit more outgoing and interesting
  
• am luckier in securing the things I worked so hard for
• have an adult I can turn to when I am at crossroads
  
• have more confidence in myself
• have the trust and support from someone IMPORTANT in wtv I choose to do
• have more opportunities in life
  
• don't have to be constantly compared to the ones that are more fortunate
• am mentally and spiritually strong

我真的受够了

为了符合你一直以来的要求，　我受了不少折磨。。。

连我的未来的职业，　你都必须打算吗？我什么时候说过我后悔选择accounting？　

说过这是我的选择，　那为什么要一直动摇我单独的选择？

哭到眼睛都肿了。我不想再为这些事情而难过。。。。

It's the only way to make sure I am still completely sane by next month.....

I probably should not let certain things get to me so easily but they can't help but catch me completely off guard each time ...

I've completely ran out of energy to even shed tears.... but decided to spend more time in public places instead.

Close to exactly 2 months before the family arrives in Melbourne and about 3 months before I hug my lil cousins till they yell out.

For now, it's gonna be a long and tiring final journey. On the side note, I'm slowly getting better at what I do each Wednesday. Manager was quite impressed with my work today and sang me praises (Note: I had to drink 2 TALL skinny mocha today to get through the day.) Does that give u an idea how exhausted I am at this point?

Went to work at 9am this morning. Left at 5.45pm to the library and hit the gym at 8pm for 1 hour plus before heading home. I must have been pretty frustrated lately with certain things until i overexert myself in the gym today (fail to realise that I was running way too fast so i hit the front of the treadmill a couple of times/ ran faster and longer than usual)

Are u people happy now for constantly putting me under scrutiny? How long do I have to prove myself worthy?

Others exert 70% to get the best .... I exert 200% only to be better...

So exactly when is it my time to shine?

Painful memories

Having heard about the recent painful encounters experienced by one too many friends or known individuals brought back painful memories from about 9 years fast approaching 10 years ago.

I really can't help but shed tears knowing how painful the experience must have been for them for I know this feeling one too well...

Be strong people! Like how I've been for the past 9 years... They are now in a better place without any pain or suffering.

Say the last goodbye with a smile knowing at least u got the chance to bid farewell ... I never got the chance ....

The many seasons

Spring is fast approaching .... and before we know it, it'll be summer which also means it's time for exam and grad ..... :)

4 and counting....

Part of me wants it to stop....
but the kiasu part of me gets all excited each time an email titled "Interview" pops up in her inbox....

Stop because I've reached my limit as being able to tolerate and handle the sudden overwhelming response and invites that comes with the added stress

But the kiasu part is going:" the more the merrier!!!It means u're in demand and highly sought after! " It kinda gives off a good vibe and feeling about yourself....

But watch me crumple to the ground when all of them turn their backs after the interview/ assessments.....

As of now:
1 on the 8th
2 on the 10th
1 on the 11th

Moving on to the lil food party that we had just ytd...

Couldn't really keep my piggy hands off them .....
Played heart attack using poker cards and the poor guy had to eat my infamous sambal .... hahahaha.
yilee feeding him.... ngek ngek ngek