People & Things I miss

HomoSapiens that I really miss

1. My family - dad, stepmom, bro and my relatives
2. My friends - pj, eugene, sarah, reshma, lisa
3. M2 - everyone
4. Colleagues - Haniff & Shazrul&Adam(admin), Patrick(IT), Sukhvinder& Sarjit& Suriati& Nurul(Customer Service), Suzana&Azira(Purchasing), Joseph(Driver), Fong Yee(Accounts), Kak Yam(Tea Lady)
5. My maid

Things

1. My CAR!!!
2. My bolster
3. My bed
4. My Toilet
5. My room
6. My radio
7. My everything la!!!

Places

1. One Utama
2. The Curve
3. Taman Tun Park/ Bukit Kiara hill
4. Mamak
5. My regular shops
6. Pasar Malam

Food

1. Roti Canai/Telur
2. Nasi lemak tambah sotong/rendang/ayam
3. char keoy teow
4. chicken rice
5. wanton mee
6. hokkien mee
7. roasted duck/ char siew/ siew yok
8. Nasi briyani
9. bak kut teh
10. Rojak
11. Popiah
12. Claypot rice
13. Curry laksa
14. Tomyam
15. Prawn mee

EMO & DEPRESSION

Gosh... I think this blog is designed to put up all my saddest post and express my feelings when i am down.

I thought the first week i arrived here in Melbourne would be the last time i cry but i guess not. Dad just reminded me that it's freaking expensive to send me here and it's hard to pass my course. Having said that, I just feel super guilty and upset siao... Cried like mad again after reminding myself about my....
OBLIGATION/ RESPONSIBILITY

• Save money
• Study hard and finish my degree in three years and not more
• Get distinction for most of my subjects (dad's wish= a MUST to fulfill for me)
• Work and earn money for my brother
• Take care of my dad

I feel that there is this huge burden that follows me everywhere i go... And its slowly sucking my energy and motivation. For the past 7 years and definitely more to come, I have been working hard to make sure i perform well as a sister, daughter and friend. But, sometimes i get really tired of life. Why am i so unlucky? I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if my mom was still around. Would it have been much better? Would i have less argument with my dad which i always end up in tears without fail? Would i be less stressed out ? Would i have suffered like what i am going through now?

I know I been through a lot and that has made me stronger emotionally and probably mentally. However, I have my limits as well and i tend to break down after a while and come back stronger and this just goes on. My heart aches when my dad or brother is upset and I will do whatever i can to protect and make them happy.....

Assignments... Tests... Tutorials...

Accounting reports and analysis assignment.... Introductory microeconomics assignment... the weekly quantitative methods 1 assignment (1% / 5%)... I know... such as waste of time of energy to do it but its still 1%....

Lectures and tutorials are just boring and the same goes to melbourne... This place is so dead after 6pm... Is it just melbourne or the whole Aus? BORING BORING ... bowling alleys super small- if oneu 's one is small, this is tiny; yamcha is too expensive plus not all the nice shops are open after 8pm to late; movie tickets which only rich dudes can afford; shopping malls? worse than subang parade. So tell me exactly how am i suppose to live her for the next erm... 2 and a half years when i am already damn bored in less than 2 months. *sigh*

Now seriously contemplating whether i have made the right decision or not. In terms of education i have no regrets but lifestylewise, DEFINITELY! Wonder how those in Clayton survive? or Sydney? Well, Sydney is more fun i think. And i wanted to go to Adelaide???

GOSH!!! I am so bored... waiting for my dad to skype me now... If he doesn't, I won't live until next week to see the daylight. *shows how attached i am to my family* haha. I can't wait to go back in june although its only three days.... left hmm... lets see... 53 days. haha.

Anyway, i gotta end here, stupid tutorial work still hanging halfway and i am not supposeto be blogging but i was super bored. Ta! Ta!

Melbourne

Been a while since i posted my last blog up. I had some problem with my account but now it's fine.

I still can't believe that I am actually in Melbourne and gonna be here for the next 3 years or so. At first, I was so excited and can't wait to come here but I was so wrong. From homesick to emo and depression, nothing i can say is exactly what i expected my life here would be. I remembered so clearly the first day i arrived here or should i say first week, I experienced bad homesick and i mean really BAD... not eating and crying all the time.

Although the second week was much better maybe due to the fact that it was orientation week and i was hardly home. But to be honest, I really wanna go home. Near my family and friends is where i really wanna be even though it is those ppl that are capable of hurting me the most. Furthermore, I HATE cleaning, cooking, washing up, and just basically having to do everything myself is just hard. I also hate buying groceries because they are so heavy and i always end up physically hurting myself. Just last week, i hurt my back and shoulder from carrying 4kg of rice, 2kg of cereal, 2 kg of pasta and so many other junks all home by myself. I was so upset and sad after reaching home as my body really hurts and it's really tiring and "sanfu" especially when i have to do it all alone.

I really miss my family and friends back home. I miss having ppl take care of me although it comes together with the nagging and lecturing. I miss smsing my friends everytime i am bored- the sms here cost $0.25=Rm0.75. I miss my msian food- roti canai, nasi lemak, chicken rice, rojak, teh tarik, char keoy teow, wanton mee, prawn mee, curry laksa, tomyam, kampung fried rice etc. The list can just go on so i better just stop. And here comes the worst part, when i am SICK!!! No doctors, no porridge, no one asking u how are u? feeling better? u want fish ball soup or porridge??? NO! NO! NO! I had to take panadol and sleep my sickness of and cook my own food and clean even though i feel so sucky. No one asking me "u ok? wanna see doctor? go sleep la... i will ask aunty lita to cook porridge for u. "

I really wish i can go home every 6 months. Unfortunately, due to the extremely high cost of a plane ticket, I can only afford to go back once a year which is only in dec. I really dunno how am i gonna take it... I am trying very hard to stay strong but once in a while i'll break down in tears and cry my heart out everytime i miss my family or get all worried when they don't skype me or when anyone is sick back home. I really hope i can hang on for the next three years or so before i go back home... GAMBATTE !!!