Not quite myself

that's what u get after going through one hell of an exam... The tears finally ran dry on Monday and ever since then... Wouldn't quite say I've recovered completely but enough to keep me going for my last few papers. Sleeping is my latest hobby. It's the best way to kill time and avoid any unwanted thoughts that might find its' way into my mind. I've gotta say that this exam totally killed my baking interest. Until I find a good enough reason to start baking again, I am gonna refrain from doing so until my exam results are out on the 9th of July. On that day, u'll either see my crumple to the ground or floating on cloud nine. I've a feeling the latter wouldn't quite apply. Anyhow, I am gonna continue living each day without anticipating much but with that tiny fraction of hope that luck will pick my side for once. Tomorrow is gonna be another hard day since it's SUNDAY which also means it's Skype day. More emotional turmoil headed my way. I don't think I've done enough to earn someone's trust and it's unfair to ask for it. But it would have made quite a difference in how I've lived my life up until this moment. Like how the earth revolves around the sun, my life revolves around what others expect from me. There's hardly any escape route that's worth taking... Hence, I would just have to suck it in and accept the given. Looks like my July break will be purely devoted to work. The outcome has been decided even though I may stop once in a while to think twice. Time to sum up that courage and give the Partner a call to follow up on my job soon. *sigh..... *

When will I ever get a decent break? Dad claims that I complain too much everytime I leave the house for work at 7.30am. He insists that he used to enjoy working sooooo much when he was younger. But the difference between daddy dear and me is the generation. He failed to realize that during his time, stress is only induced at a later period unlike us. I don't remember ever having that lil extra time after school to go out and play in the garden for hours but I DO remember those tuition classes I had to attend every week.

But no matter how things have changed, I still do my very best in trying to meet your expectations because I know how hard it must've been on you - that 6 years. Having to take care of us and work at the same time. We both know how painful it was although we never really showed each other that we're actually having a tough time just in case the other might worry. Those days where u waited patiently for me after tuition to pick me up, times where we would argue at the pharmacy because I wanted to get some beauty products so badly, the evenings where I'll wait for u to return from work for dinner even though it's late, times where u'll scold me until I end up crying and u'll come and try to comfort me the next day by buying me stuff/ food....

Happy father's day, Daddy!

a never seen before family photo now making itself public.