EMO & DEPRESSION

Gosh... I think this blog is designed to put up all my saddest post and express my feelings when i am down.

I thought the first week i arrived here in Melbourne would be the last time i cry but i guess not. Dad just reminded me that it's freaking expensive to send me here and it's hard to pass my course. Having said that, I just feel super guilty and upset siao... Cried like mad again after reminding myself about my....
OBLIGATION/ RESPONSIBILITY

• Save money
• Study hard and finish my degree in three years and not more
• Get distinction for most of my subjects (dad's wish= a MUST to fulfill for me)
• Work and earn money for my brother
• Take care of my dad

I feel that there is this huge burden that follows me everywhere i go... And its slowly sucking my energy and motivation. For the past 7 years and definitely more to come, I have been working hard to make sure i perform well as a sister, daughter and friend. But, sometimes i get really tired of life. Why am i so unlucky? I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if my mom was still around. Would it have been much better? Would i have less argument with my dad which i always end up in tears without fail? Would i be less stressed out ? Would i have suffered like what i am going through now?

I know I been through a lot and that has made me stronger emotionally and probably mentally. However, I have my limits as well and i tend to break down after a while and come back stronger and this just goes on. My heart aches when my dad or brother is upset and I will do whatever i can to protect and make them happy.....