As expected, it was not easy to actually open the emails with reply or pick up the calls

from all the ones I truly cherish

expressing their unwillingness to let me go....

Afraid that they might actually be capable of holding me back ...

Tears immediately started flowing.......

The memories..... The good times.... The arguments ..... The late nights.... The laughter.....

The inside jokes.... The unity.... The support... The teachings...

Last but not least,

THE FRIENDSHIP

I am about to leave behind a great and wise teacher, great friends who have my back all the time, an "older brother" who has been there

and

____________

to throw myself out into a foreign place

where I am then force to act like a responsible adult, learn to grow up and stop relying on others, experience hardship so that I'll be more appreciative of the given, more likely to make mistakes or rather fail and learn it the hard way so as to become wiser.

Not entirely sure who is capable of blocking my path at the moment but I sense watchful eyes

and might I dare say some that will soon follow in my path?

Would you actually try and stop me from going because u know deep inside I am about to make a mistake? ;or

Would you actually follow me to be there to lend a hand when I fall? ;or

Would you rather quietly watch from afar and watch me pick myself up?

It would be great if perhaps in the near future, I see more familiar faces but please let that be a decision you make on your own.
*******************************
Friends said I should not let go just yet :)

Told me to follow the heart.......

**************************************
BR Ice cream outing with brother and ex-neighbours

MCD afterwards

Followed by house visiting ....

Tekken 6 time
FIGHT!

AND


I have a trip coming up next Saturday ! :) *excited*

******************************

Those who know the exact date,

you people know where and when to find me and how to contact me.... :)

Keep in touch always! XD

Walkthrough

From this...........................

to this.....And then this.....

New year eve countdown

The college days..............Teacher's day

The uni days................

and then this.....

Next destination would be...............

Traveled alone the past 2 days in the above mentioned place.
Fellow colleague asked:" Why travel alone?" to which I answered:"Erm... because the rest of the world has to work?" :)

It did do me some good. Maybe not so much on the physical and health sense but yes to the rest.

Had the time and ample space to reflect and clear this clouded head of mine. The time to think things through knowing that I can only be contacted via my S'pore no. on my mobile by the close ones and being in a foreign place where there would be fairly less familiar faces around.

The time to ponder ... whether it'd be while I was on the MRT or when I was wandering aimlessly in the shopping malls or when I was trying to find my way around the city with a map in my hand and luggage in the other or while I was having a cup of hot Mocha at Coffee Bean or during the bus ride with my iPod plugged in and eyes closed.

Figured it won't be an easy life for the next 3 years but a girl has to do what she has to do......... :)

At the end of the day, my decision is perceived by the rest to be some of the following:
a) Stupidly stubborn
b) Ambitious
c) Rational
d) Greedy
e) Money minded
f) Silly and Immature
g) Coward
h) Opportunist
i) Selfish
j) Reckless

Your verdict is..........?

EXACTLY WHEN will all these nonsense come to an end? It will reach a point where I literally burst and it will be no pretty picture.

Right after I let it all out, it has to come back and bite the next day itself.

All the blaming, yelling, door slamming and ego! I could seriously do without any of that!

We learn from our mistakes and occasionally we do repeat them. But it is not meant to be used as our weakest point each time one makes a mistake almost similar to that. It's like putting a knife to the wound rather than allowing it to heal ..........

And in the end, u'll see a scar - a really deep one that will change them for the rest of their life.

The self-esteem was trampled on and anything/ everything u do in the future is never gonna be good enough. Did it to me and now u're doing the exact same thing to the little one.

The precious one I spent the past 10 years protecting so that he will never be like me in the future. The hope that he will grow up with confidence, knows when to stop pushing himself, not spend half the time living in the shadow of his mistake and always determined.

We'll get through this.... I believe we will eventually. That is what I pray to God every other night before bedtime :)

Happy.................. :)

Updates, pictures and video will be up soon!

Heading overseas next week, Farewell dinner for me planned by colleagues this weekend, futsal match, holiday next weekend, drinks tonight, and more tmr night with colleague and his friends?

Which of the following three is your cup of tea? :)

a) Crystal clear
b) Translucent
c) Opaque

___________________________________________________________

(a) speaks their mind openly with minimal constraint
(b) expresses their thoughts as and when the need arises
(c) conveys when prompted

Sometimes I wish I understood. So stubborn and persistent. Must it always be crystal clear before I'm willing to let go? Other times, I just feel like giving up completely only because I am tired and fed up. And it is times like this that I end up telling my all to others. My dreams, my problems, my hopes, my sorrows, my history.... naturally building an invisible "wall" in between .....
Sense a slow divertion in the heart.... but yet the other is too deep to be detached anytime soon.
It should have been this way long long time ago .... Painstaking but less of an impact.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
Well aware that I made a few colleagues/ friends worried this week but be rest assured that I am back on track and back to how I used to be.
Forgive and forget.... :)

This is how my Friday night and weekends should be like............

Friday night: Dinner and drinks with colleagues. Talked to a colleague on the phone for 1.5 hours (honestly don't remember all the things we talked about that stretched on for that long but definitely managed to solve my dilemma and cleared some doubts ....)

It's not easy when people or rather when I myself start questioning my own decision.... The very decision I made 6 months ago. That's when a third parties' opinion matters... One who has been there and done that.
Another addition to that long list of people who wants me to stay but will eventually support my decision regardless.

Sat: Slept in until 2pm.... Sent the kid to Library... Watch some dramas.... Out with family for dinner and some shopping .... Movie and supper with colleague thereafter... talked on the phone for an hour AGAIN(more specific to the perplexity of my personal life this time round)!

Sunday: Brunch with college mates.....

tea time with uni mates.... took their Golf GTI for a drive on Sprint. Felt really good XD
Dinner with bro
and it's about time I pick up this old hobby of mine....?