rainy days

I actually do enjoy rainy days in KL contrary to the ones in Melbourne.
Even though we might have to stay in or perhaps miss out on my weekly exercise but i usually don't have much to say whenever it rains.

Rainy days in KL means everyone is mostly probably at home --> or even if we're out, means we'll be busy sheltering each other . I remember the last time I was out in Kiara hill for some exercise, it started pouring cats and dogs and I had to run back to the car to grab an umbrella to shelter my dad. I did fall sick the next few days though. haha. Even when I was working at the end of my first year, it used to rain heavily every once in a while after work and usually in that situation, the grumbling from my dad is a definite thing but yet he'll take the trouble to make one big round to the sheltered area to pick me up. <3 Well for melb's case..... it literally means strong winds and cold front with the added drench that we can't possibly miss out on. Somehow or rather, whenever it rains really heavily in KL, I'll most probably be sitting in the living room with my dad if i am at home. We won't be doing anything specific but the company is there. U know I can't say the same for Melb right? :) Please stop raining soon so that I can go out to get the ingredients to make my cheesecake?! Cheesecake reminds me of my HOME! Beloved relatives who sang me praises for the cheesecake I made specially for them during cny that they insist I make one for each family instead of the usual one slice per person. Mind you, I have about 5 - 6 families to take care of.

What is the real reason why I always bake for my friends?
Is it because I enjoy doing so and also because it makes them happy?

U might wanna think again....

however, I do bake for my family because I enjoy making yummy stuff for them.

But that doesn't apply to the other.

The real motive shall be left unknown.

Hail the fat pig that fell from the sky

I am referring to myself as pointed out in the title ... hahaha.

A tad bit overdone but that's how i feel at the moment.
After injuring my left foot and I am long overdue on my school work, I hardly have the time to move around freely and also exercise.

The foot is well on its' way to recovery but that doesn't mean I can jump with joy and rush out with my sports shoes and resume all activities. No NO NO! I prefer to take things slow. Say give it a week or two to completely recover and start off by taking a slow walk perhaps?

Mid sem exams are in about 2 weeks time and guess what???? I started studying for it already ! I wanted to occupy myself for a bit and decided to spend the last few evenings at the library doing some catching up until 8 or 9pm before heading home. Helped a lot in keeping myself busy for a bit but not too well on the wellbeing side. Well that is until today.

I reached home only to find hsmate cooking up a storm. It was just pasta but she made it from scratch which is impressive and it tasted good. Guess it's been a while since I last came back only to find my meal all prepared on table and waiting for me. As expected, the whole situation did perk me up quite a bit! Not hinting anything in particular but just pin pointing out what has been bothering me the last few days.

yup it's definitely homesick alright plus some painful memories! XD

It's like an inner tug of war and trust me when i say it's not an enjoyable experience all together.

Hint: 母

Not something I find joy in bringing up but nevertheless, it can't be avoided. At times, i choose to recall the past so that I won't forget but then again it will indirectly induce unnecessary sorrow and plenty of WHAT IF?

Not my best moment

It's a like a perfect scene where I am taking a slow walk through life and a wall just had to fall right down in the middle of my walkway.

basically up to me to face that wall and overcome my worst fears and climb over that wall to continue on with my journey.

Best part is that whenever I come across that wall, I have no one else to relate to on that matter without drawing too much attention to myself. It's my ego and pride that refuse to budge and since young, I've been taught not to rely too much on any individual as it might result in over-dependence. I don't expect anyone to understand and the last thing i need is pity. It's indeed a one woman show.

There will never ever be more than one human in that battlefield. At least not until I permit the trespassing and spill every single detail that has been haunting me for close to 10 years now.

I do not speak of this matter in public as it brings back way too many memories and hurt that can be pain staking and unbearable at times. I wish it will all dissipate into thin air and leave no trace whatsoever and save me from all the misery.

Despise the fact that I am one individual blessed with unlimited amount of tears. Ok maybe not since I recalled crying until I couldn't cry anymore (happened in 2008) !

Therefore, to avoid all the unwanted events from replaying in my mind as if it's on repeat mode, i've been spending a fair bit of time at the library trying to get my head around my syllabus. Home just became the worst place to hang out.

I need major distractions to keep myself occupied but of course only the good distractions are welcomed :) Library is my new hangout spot and coffee + sleep became my best friends. I should probably stop myself from consuming 2 cups of coffee a day. As bad as it may seem, I can't seem to get through the day without at least one cup. Sorry for being over dramatic, I need to straighten my life out before it's too late.

I think today was the only day I actually laughed that much in 2 hours. All thanks to my new found favourite teacher. He actually encouraged a student to say shit while trying to teach her how to pronounce a Chinese syllable properly. Well... he did try sheep initially but that didn't help so he tried the other word and it worked! LOL.

Robot

Do u know how it feels like to be a robot?

Having a meal right at this moment with some of my closest friends in KL would be a God given gift

Just the normal girly chats over dessert or hysterical giggles and laughter over something silly or even reminisce about the good old days.
(Sorry bestie, I just had to upload that pic! hahaha.)
(ugly pic of mine but the latest one of me and penguin - i just tarnished my own image)

Apparently I don't get that kind of joy often here nowadays.

But I am also more than happy to settle with a family reunion dinner

with my noisy little cousins squabbling away or the voices of the adults deep in discussion
(pumpkin face cousin) haha!

To date: 7 and a half months more to go.

My first tiramisu

More pictures can be found on my facebook and recipe can be found on my food blog :)

Kim's trip and the pothole

Slowly spiraling out of control ...

Like they say "It hits the hardest when we're down". I thought I've left it all behind a few years ago but apparently that was what I thought so. However, it kept coming back every once in a while and again just ytd. I'm seriously not any different compared to the rest ever since I assumed the role 9 years ago. "If u can't change it then learn to live with it." Judging from my circumstances, turning back the clock is not even an option let alone having the slightest hope that everything could return to how it was before.

But I badly needed this moment to remind myself how far I've come to reach this stage to regain control over my life. My more hardworking self just recently started falling deeper and harder into that "LAZY" pothole I dug out myself due to the massive amount workload that refuse to stop piling over one another. It's only a matter of time before they seal off the top with me buried underneath.

It was only a rough 2 weeks and more to come in the near future so buck up lazy bum and stop allowing the unwanted to flow freely every night.

Anyway, here are some of the pictures taken when Kim came down from Canberra. Damn! I miss some of the girls so badly.

The cake was too sweet but i finished it anyway! haha.
Let's kick my split personality one side and back to my happy, bubbly, talkative self! :) I love being able to do that! haha.

Additions to my baking posts

Lemon Pound Cake

Tuna puffs

Blueberry butter cake

Tiramisu or Ricotta cheesecake during the weekend :)

I know I've been wanting to try out tiramisu forwhat felt like ten years but I never had the chance to due to the overwhelming cost of the ingredients. Just a bottle of liqueur will easily cost me $30 and I am not willing to spend that much money on a cake and yet give half of it away at the end of day.
However, things finally took a turn and I have one bottle of Baileys Irish Cream sitting in my kitchen right at this moment thanks to a friend of mine. He bought it as a gift for our housewarming session XD and I accidentally blurted out to roomie some nonsensical stuff about what I almost did. hahaha.

I really think that those around me are spoiling me to bits. Starting from my parents to my housemates to SOME of my friends (unfortunately this does not apply to all my friends) and then housemates" family. Susahlah like that! Don't blame me if I get too spoilt for good and end up whining my head off in future when things are not the way I want them to be.

Whenever I express my dissatisfaction on a certain matter, 70% of the time they can be regarded as a joke or just a mere statement that has no significant underlying meaning to it. However, the excess 30% are the ones that shouldn't be taken lightly. Those issues are the ones that will be embedded in my memory and not one that can be easily thrown away or forgiven. Most of the time it will affect my perception of that person (refer to the red highlighted point above). But I am one who will give the person a second chance to redeem themselves. Don't worry, I don't change my perception of others just because of one incident but I can't say the same for the same offense twice. Clearly, I am still upset with some of my friends here but it's not one to bring up in my blog. Just because i have a slightly more hectic lifestyle back home, it doesn't mean that I want to be thrown one side and be excluded from any activities.

The ones in the following picture are still the best when it comes to preserving my emotional well being. "Mereka paling pandai jaga hati saya". The following picture was taken last night during dinner. We (referring to us girls plus roomie's relatives) had dinner at a nice little Italian restaurant after attending roomie's award ceremony. Congrats again miss Yilee for obtaining the highest score in one of her subject ! (you're not the only one feeling the stress *phew*)
Talk about stress man ! haha. Btw, I love that picture below because we're all dressed pretty much alike and looked happy and awesome (yes! I was pretty much referring to myself but both of them were smiling too!)

I should really count my blessings. Things are finally changing for the better. What goes around DO in fact comes around ! XD So remember to always give more and take little ! :)
and I used to think that people will eventually suck the life out of me since I always put others above myself which sucks btw.

housewarming

From the pile of mess before to this spread! Me and yilee had our very own housewarming session on fri. Sadly, majority that turned up were my friends and only 2 of miss loke's friend could only make it. Nevertheless, we had a great time. With good food comes good atmosphere ! :) Glad everyone got along pretty well !

THE FOOD!

THE PEOPLE !

Yup... that's me alright! I do that pretty often nowadays!

awesome group photo!

Can u spot me?

Own food blog

yeap, u heard it right... I just created my very own food blog where I will post up pictures of my baking.

It's not that I won't post any here but it'll be limited to one or two pictures only.

XD

The blog is anonymous so u would have to ask me personally for the link :)